I don't even fully understand what I'm doing here

horsesornothing:

fionasouthcott:

Imogen Murray and Wiseguy IV fall sequence from Chatsworth Horse Trials (very compressed)

Well, horse. This is what happens when you jump like an idiot

you can just hear the horse going “durrrrr” in that first photo.  it’s okay, dude, we all have those days.  hee.

clientsfromhell:

I’m working with a client that is holding an arts and writing competition for kids to write about the Holocaust. This year’s theme is about the 1936 Berlin Olympics, which were the last games before WWII and were referred to as the Nazi Games. For the formal invite to the awards ceremony, the…

captorquest:

one time in freshman year my biology teacher was teaching us about chromosomal disorders and apparently some women can have three X chromosomes and she went to go look up some pictures of what some women afflicted with this condition look like. unfortunately my teacher typed in “XXX females” and that worked about just as well as you’d expect

The following quotations are taken from official court records across the nation, showing how funny and embarrassing it is that recorders operate at all times in courts of law, so that even the slightest inadvertence is preserved for posterity.
Lawyer: "Was that the same nose you broke as a child?"
Witness: "I only have one, you know."
-----
Lawyer: "Now, Mrs. Johnson, how was your first marriage terminated?"
Witness: "By death."
Lawyer: "And by whose death was it terminated?"
-----
Accused, Defending His Own Case: "Did you get a good look at my face when I took your purse?"
The defendant was found guilty and sentenced to ten years in jail.
-----
Lawyer: "What is your date of birth?"
Witness: "July 15th."
Lawyer: "What year?"
Witness: "Every year."
-----
Lawyer: "What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?"
Witness: "Gucci sweats and Reeboks."
-----
Lawyer: "Can you describe what the person who attacked you looked like?"
Witness: "No. He was wearing a mask."
Lawyer: "What was he wearing under the mask?"
Witness: "Er...his face."
-----
Lawyer: "This myasthenia gravis -- does it affect your memory at all?"
Witness: "Yes."
Lawyer: "And in what ways does it affect your memory?"
Witness: "I forget."
Lawyer: "You forget. Can you give us an example of something that you've forgotten?"
-----
Lawyer: "How old is your son, the one living with you?"
Witness: "Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can't remember which."
Lawyer: "How long has he lived with you?"
Witness: "Forty-five years."
-----
Lawyer: "What was the first thing your husband said to you when he woke that morning?"
Witness: "He said, 'Where am I, Cathy?'"
Lawyer: "And why did that upset you?"
Witness: "My name is Susan."
-----
Lawyer: "Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?"
Witness: "No."
Lawyer: "Did you check for blood pressure?"
Witness: "No."
Lawyer: "Did you check for breathing?"
Witness: "No."
Lawyer: "So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?"
Witness: "No."
Lawyer: "How can you be so sure, Doctor?"
Witness: "Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar."
Lawyer: "But could the patient have still been alive nevertheless?"
Witness: "Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law somewhere."
-----
Lawyer: "What happened then?"
Witness: "He told me, he says, 'I have to kill you because you can identify me.'"
Lawyer: "Did he kill you?"
Witness: "No."
-----
Lawyer: "Now sir, I'm sure you are an intelligent and honest man--"
Witness: "Thank you. If I weren't under oath, I'd return the compliment."
-----
Lawyer: "You were there until the time you left, is that true?"
-----
Lawyer: "So you were gone until you returned?"
-----
Lawyer: "The youngest son, the 20 year old, how old is he?"
-----
Lawyer: "Were you alone or by yourself?"
-----
Witness: "He was about medium height and had a beard."
Lawyer: "Was this a male or a female?"
-----
Lawyer: "I show you Exhibit 3 and ask you if you recognize that picture."
Witness: "That's me."
Lawyer: "Were you present when that picture was taken?"
-----
Lawyer: "Were you present in court this morning when you were sworn in?"
-----
Lawyer: "Do you know how far pregnant you are now?"
Witness: "I'll be three months on November 8."
Lawyer: "Apparently, then, the date of conception was August 8?"
Witness: "Yes."
Lawyer: "What were you doing at that time?"
-----
Lawyer: "She had three children, right?"
Witness: "Yes."
Lawyer: "How many were boys?"
Witness: "None."
Lawyer: "Were there girls?"
-----
Lawyer: "You say that the stairs went down to the basement?"
Witness: "Yes."
Lawyer: "And these stairs, did they go up also?"
-----
Lawyer: "What is your brother-in-law's name?"
Witness: "Borofkin."
Lawyer: "What's his first name?"
Witness: "I can't remember."
Lawyer: "He's been your brother-in-law for years, and you can't remember his first name?"
Witness: "No. I tell you, I'm too excited." (rising and pointing to his brother-in-law) "Nathan, for heaven's sake, tell them your first name!"
-----
Lawyer: "Did you ever stay all night with this man in New York?"
Witness: "I refuse to answer that question.
Lawyer: "Did you ever stay all night with this man in Chicago?"
Witness: "I refuse to answer that question.
Lawyer: "Did you ever stay all night with this man in Miami?"
Witness: "No."
-----
Lawyer: "Doctor, how many autopsies have you performed on dead people?"
Witness: "All my autopsies have been performed on dead people."
-----
Lawyer: "Were you acquainted with the deceased?"
Witness: "Yes sir."
Lawyer: "Before or after he died?"
-----
Lawyer: "When he went, had you gone and had she, if she wanted to and were able, for the time being excluding all the restraints on her not to go, gone also, would he have brought you, meaning you and she, with him to the station?"
Other Lawyer: "Objection. That question should be taken out and shot."
-----
Lawyer: "And what did he do then?"
Witness: "He came home, and next morning he was dead."
Lawyer: "So when he woke up the next morning he was dead?"
-----
Lawyer: "Could you see him from where you were standing?"
Witness: "I could see his head."
Lawyer: "And where was his head?"
Witness: "Just above his shoulders."
-----
Lawyer: "Any suggestions as to what prevented this from being a murder trial instead of an attempted murder trial?"
Witness: "The victim lived."

dustintheink:

selfhatingsupervillain:

cleeandcake:

hoodrichnigga:

glitterbites:

Collecting these because no one understands their genius. They make me want to go to school.

my favorite one: That is Mahogany!

Calling the teacher a muggle

The one about kilometers and miles perfectly illustrates what’s wrong with hierarchical “education”

The majority of these would get a thumbs up from me in class. I mean I get wanting order but getting upset about most of these is ridiculous. And the teacher who was wrong but gave them detention anyway? Appalling. Also.., maybe it is good for teachers to be at least a little tuned in to some pop culture references?

Then again most of these sound like an average day in class to me, too.

shit like this makes me want to teach.  hee.

also, “sandwich” is not spelled “sandwhich.” 

silver-senpai:

tin-pan-ali:

izzetheking:

PUPPIESS!

Those are goats.

silver-senpai:

tin-pan-ali:

izzetheking:

PUPPIESS!

Those are goats.

outofcontextarthur:

Eygpt?
submitted by yumezakura 

outofcontextarthur:

Eygpt?

submitted by yumezakura 

doomf:

thisisthinprivilege:

Thin privilege is being able to see people of your own body type in Les Miserables.

Like, really. It’s my favorite musical, but there was not one single even remotely overweight person in the whole movie. 

image

ugh if this shit isn’t a joke i weep for humankind.

like anne hathaway pointed out, her losing 25 pounds for the part wasn’t due to fucking vanity.  it was because her character was, you know, starving and dying of tb.

you’re just…not going to see a well-fed person in les miz, because it chronicles the lives of people who have very little money. 

maybe, maybe you could make an argument for the thenardiers and the patrons of the inn.  but then everyone would whine that only the villains are fat.